Sex related questions are of the most googled on the internet and for every question, you can find 100 different answers. While some answers may change with experience or perspective, some things are just simple facts. Sexual misconceptions usually start in adolescence but can continue into adulthood and effect your sex life if not debunked. So, let’s separate some fact vs fiction!
If a woman has a lot of sex, she will have a “loose” vagina.
FALSE! This as an incredibly common misconception and a fear of a lot of women. The amount of sex or the size of your partners penis has nothing to do with how tight you are “down there”. The only thing that can change the size of your reproductive organs is childbirth. And guess, what….most often it goes right back to normal and there are exercises like kegels to help make that happen.
My vagina is ugly
FALSE! First off, we can’t see your vagina, that’s on the inside of your body. What you see on the outside is the vulva but for sake of sticking with what the general public calls it, we will say vagina today. If you watch porn you will see picture perfect, surgically enhanced lady bits that can make most women feel ashamed of theirs. Ladies, if you don’t look like this, it’s OK, you shouldn’t. Although it can happen naturally, that stereo-typically “pretty vagina” is the least common shape.
Similar to #1 there is a rumor that if you have a longer labia you’ve had a lot of sex. Again, not sure who started this rumor but it is totally false. Longer labia’s are actually more common and a lot of men say they feel physically better during sex. The hard truth is every vagina is beautiful and perfectly normal. If you want to see what a “normal’ vagina looks like, here is an excellent example of the variety http://www.labialibrary.org.au/photo-gallery/
You’ll get your cherry popped the first time you have sex.
FALSE…sort of. Ok can we please stop calling them cherries and nothing pops. Most people born with vaginas will have a thin layer or membrane that covers the vaginal opening, called the hymen. FYI…….it doesn’t pop, never, literally doesn’t happen. Some women’s hymen may break or tear way before sex from physical activity or tampons. But if it does tear during sex there may be a little discomfort and bleeding.
Every orgasm is amazing
FALSE. Every orgasm isn’t earth shattering and that’s OK. In my opinion, the media and porn have made unrealistic expectations of what an orgasms should be. Don’t think I’m knocking porn because I’m actually a huge fun but I also realize it is made for entertainment purposes. Some orgasms are short and sweet and others are toe curling, out of body experience. It’s likely we all will have combinations of each. Just remember that the orgasms should be part of the sex journey and not the destination.
If my partner masturbates it means they aren’t sexually satisfied
Also FALSE. Although it is true that people in an ongoing relationship tend to masturbate less, the fact that someone masturbates does not mean they aren’t sexually fulfilled. This is not gender specific either. People masturbate for a variety of reasons. Maybe their partner isn’t available, to help them sleep, to get a sexual release or just plain boredom sometimes. If you find yourself bothered that your partner masturbates, try a joint masturbation session and spice it up with https://www.thewonderlandco.com/pages/male-masturbators or https://www.thewonderlandco.com/collections/clitoral-stimulators
Penis size matters
Whether this is fact or fiction is going to depend on who you ask. Ask 10 people and you’ll get 10 different answers. What is FACT is that penises come in all different shapes and sizes. This topic has historically given many men a complex and feeling that they don’t “measure up”. The reality is the size and shape of a man’s penis makes no difference in the amount of pleasure he will feel and little effect on how much pleasure his partner will feel.
Sex is over when the man ejaculates
FALSE, FALSE, FALSE……did I say False? This need not, and should not be, how you determine when sex is finished. Sex involves two (or more) people that should both get pleasure out of the experience. If you are a lucky girl like me and your partner makes sure you are well taken care of before he cums, then it may be the end for you. (Yes, I’m bragging a little. He puts in the work and he’s earned a little bragging).
This list could go on and on and maybe we will do another one. If you have something you would like to me to talk about send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. The bottom line is, learn what works for you and your partner. If you something you think, read or heard sounds fishy, fact check it with a credible source.